My past can be summed up in one word, complex. First off, where does ones past begin? Is it yesterday right after they drank their last beer? Or when you had your first child and you never wanted to be the same person again? I'll say my true past began somewhere around 16. So I'll start there. I was a homeschooled basement kid most of my childhood. Big ball of energy trapped in four walls. I was a child of Jehovah Witness's and that help me form a strong moral code. All from a crazy cult that never believed in happiness. It's not I don't believe in God, quite the opposite. It's that I cannot and will not believe any loving God would believe that strictness and austerity should be taught. Rather then say, happiness and forgiveness. So I played video games and studied school. Eventually graduated at 14. Hung out for a year with the family then got my first car.
So thus, the present has been a cacophony of trials, triumphs, let downs, lessons, and happiness. And alot of laughter. Always gotta laugh. Its funny really when you start to at your "present", are you looking as yourself or from the outside point of view. I mean honestly, it is the perspective that really matters in this type of writing. I'm essentially writing a diary for others to view. Firstly, my perspective. Interesting, to say the least. I'm pursuing a dream that is both the most pleasant feeling the world, and the most frightening. Blindly walking in amongst things you've only just dreamed of and now washed up in a wave. The wave filled with what you've wanted and needed Can you actually keep yourself afloat? When do you need that helping hand to throw you a life preserver? So now, we take the observers viewpoint. The hand that grips the life vest so to speak. They see me washed up in a wave but refuse to help. It's my fault really. I've learned to swim for so long before drowning. I'd probably have too much water in my lungs to scream for help anyways. Wow this has certainly taken a morbid turn. Lets go to the final door into the psyche. THE FUTURE.
Ah, the future,. A bright happy place filled with long lost dreams and unexplainable spells of good luck. Leaving the past and present behind you have passed the platinum gates of hope. Right down I have a dream boulevard, passing the fields filled with money, fame success, and pride. Where people want to know your name and ask to park your car. That is the dream right? It is the little glimmer in the brightest corner of my mind. Its not all dour and depressed. Mainly tired and a little stoned. Right now its school. Pursue the dream and use the work ethic I developed in the forestry. Which means never stop. It's the ability to block all distractions and just take one more step after another until you get to the top. And as I walk down I have a dream boulevard, I always keep one credo in mind. Be Alert. Keep Calm. Think Clearly. Act Decisively. And above all, Don't Fuckin Panic.
